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26th
March - 9th April.
14 days in Mecca, and I ain't talking Bingo (well, I might a
bit later, but you get my drift).
Virgin Atlantic to Vegas - Economy. My least favourite airline,
my least favourite class. Still it was going to get me to Vegas in 9.5 hours, which
is quicker than my commute to work some days. We bagged exit row seats, handy tip
here...if you go for two exit row seats, you can get a BOGOF deal if you plump for
one of the seats to be next to the exit, as the legroom is less due to the door protruding
slightly.Then you and your travelling companion can fight over who gets the crap seat
whilst you wait to board the aircraft. Exit row seats are 75 quid extra. We plumped
for two normal priced ones, hoping that no other sod would want ashite seat.
We checked in the night before to ensure we go the aforementioned
seats, quick and easy. I heard reports that check in on the day is now more labourious
and fraught with boredom than ever before as the now overtly paranoid US authorities
need first night stay information on the manifest that they receive before the aircraft
has even taken off. It took 90 mins on average in the queue for economy on the day.
Flight was fine, although more legroom seats actually mean less
arse room. The armrests don't move, so if you have a well padded posterior, prepare
to be wedged in. Even the steward remarked that I wasn't going to need a seat belt
as I was firmly wedged in. Somuch for being nice and polite eh?
So the flight was a flight. No good turbulence, no good screaming
of fearful passengers. It was packed as well.
We landed, had to wait while the authorities arrested someone.
Then the
747 emptied faster than I ahve ever seen a 747 land. Interrogation
and Curtness was as quick as it can be, and soon my luggage was on my little trolley
and we were off and out.
Of course the first thing I do when I get to Vegas is have a
cig (sometoimes before I rip the nicotine patch off). I have to say the first cig
in vegas is one of the best, it's probably something to do with the fact that the
smoker is still king in vegas. More rooms are set aside for smokers than non smokers,
all slot machines have ashtrays next to em, hell for a tip in some places they will
bring you more cancer sticks!
We have our puff and grab a cab, and hot foot it downtown. none
of this Strip shit. The Strip is for tourists, not players. I did have two longing
looks at Wynn and Bellagio, but that's because they are works of art, not just hotels
in Clark County.
Now this whole I am going to Las Vegas rubbish...Anyone who says
they are going to Las Vegas .. you can bet em a tenner they aren't and if they are
staying on the strip or anywhere apart from Downtown, they ain't staying in Las Vegas.
Try it, it works :) The Strip is in Clark County, not the city of Las Vegas.
Anyway, get to the hotel. The mid priced (for downtown - stupidly
cheap for anywhere else in US), and perfectly adequate Las Vegas Club.
Smallish, takes 2 mins from your hotel room to get onto the street,
has liberal table games, plus you can play roulette for 25c a pop if the need takes
you.
It's nice and warm, we grab a shower, change clothes, and head
out.
Star Wars Slots - OBVIOUSLY, these were created for me. I was
as happy as a Sus domesticus in faeces for all of 30 minutes.
I cannot describe the geeky nerdy level of creamery this game provided me with.
Got a bit knackered then, so went and ate at the Carson Street
Cafe (Ali, it was fine this time, honestly) and had liver and onions (my usual first
meal in vegas), popped to the ABC store, bought 12 cans of root beer 4 bottles of
Frappucino and then slithered back to room as we were getting knacked.
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So, next morning .. my birthday! Had a leisurely brekkie
at the GN breakfast buffet – 6.99 (plus tax), and one of
the best in town. Then popped over to the Plaza to play some STT.
25 bucks for a 10 seater. They fill up quick, and later during
my time there they ran 55 buck ones as well. 2 places pay on these (3 in the 55 buck
ones). They were terrifically juicy. 15 min clock, 100 chips to start, and full with
80% players weren’t too good at all.
So played a few of them, over the course of the two weeks, they
were good fun. The Plaza is a say it as you see it kinda place. It’s pretty much full
of people who just fell out of the greyhound bus station that is right next to the
hotel.
It also used to smell of sick, but it doesn’t anymore.
They have a tourney each night, two in fact a 7pm and a midnight.
On Fridays the buy in is 200 bucks and on Mondays they play pot limit Omaha Hi Lo.
So on the Monday we also went to the Wynn. I have shares in this
place, so wanted to go check the joint out.
It’s very pretty, the lunch buffet is very good. The loos are
nice, and the seats on the slots are really really comfy. Sadly it’s full of tourists,
the music is too loud, and the slots are tighter than a gnat’s chuff. It’s not Bellagio – Bellagio
is the dog’s testiculars of hotels – perfection, but it
will hold it’s own.
In 5-10 years I will have made a very nice profit on my shares.
So, what else did I do? Hmm well we have done the touristy shite,
and after you have been to Vegas a few times you don’t NEED to go look at stuff. We
were there to do a little shopping, have some nice meals, play slots, and I was there
to nip away and play poker when I could. I didn’t play nearly as much poker as I would
have liked to.
We went to see 2 shows, O and Le Reve. I have to see O when I
am in Vegas. Can’t imagine not seeing it. As usual it didn’t disappoint. Le Reve was
good, but it wasn’t O, kinda following on in the whole theme of being like but not
as good. I still enjoyed it.
The conservatory at the B was well worth seeing – as
usual – live butterflies, beautiful and fragile – quite
ironic when the rest of the B is bold, strong and beautiful.
The strip annoys me though – it’s
like living in London, but just condensed into one street. It takes ages to get anywhere,
there are tourists all over the place and the prices are outrageous, I like to get
back to my suburb of downtown where things are cheaper and just nicer.
Downtown is funny, there is Hawaiians galore – Vegas
is the number one vacation destination for islanders, probably because it’s unique
topography makes it different enough to make it interesting (and of course they are
voracious gamblers), after all you live on a paradise island – you
don’t really need to go to the ocean for a holiday! So the quirks of catering to the
Hawaiians have made for an interesting catering industry downtown. They appear to
LOVE spam. Everyone jokes about it, but it’s true – you
can get spam salad at the buffets downtown. Beef Jerky? There are at least two shops
downtown where that is the main thing they sell. If you are an islander, then going
on holiday means taking the whole family, all 57 of them, including grandpa and grandma,
who are 278 years old between them and are roughly the size of Yoda.
So you have the islanders downtown, you also have JohnJoBobbyTed,
and his elderly wife ThelmaLillyBobbette, they are both on oxygen, in mobility chairs,
and have nylon clothing on them to the tune of being a fire hazard.
I can sit at the Starbucks outside of the Golden Nugget for a
whole morning just watching the whole of humanity walk past – it’s
flipping fantastic!
So what else did I do? Nothing really, only played at the Plaza,
poker wise. Got 6 from 10 on Keno (playing nickels – bah),
played slots, drank far too much root beer.
Couldn’t do too much wandering, as my mums mobility is severely
restricted, but we enjoyed what we did do.
Would I go again?
Don’t ask ridiculous questions.