Back to Main Menu

11.11.06

by Richard Prew (Tight End)

**Warning: This text may contain traces of petulance and sour grapes **

Leighton Buzzard, Mid November 2006 and the poker world stops for one day as Cheesey poker re-enacts the 2006 World Series, only minus 8000 runners and to the best of my knowledge there are no voicemails in existence where the winner promises 50% to a bloke he once met in Starbucks, only though because Leighton Buzzard does not do Starbucks. It does though do collapsing fences, noisy lorry parks and broken flowerpots. Different gravy.

£150 buy in, 10,000 chips and a one hour clock and ten intrepid souls who are soon wishing they had brought a book, such was the caginess of the initial action. This caginess continued for five hours, only enlivened for Sheriff “I live for running antes” Fatman’s uncanny ability to be outplayed by Dazza and the strange repeated sound emanating from Seat 2. “What is that?” I hear you ask. Well, dear readers, it is Bry’s calling sound. About once every two minutes, especially if he is in the blinds, irrespective of his starting hand and shortly to be featured on Sir David Attenborough’s next documentary “Life of Fish”.

The runners, for those who care:

Seat 1 Awesome Ali: Hostess with the most-ess. (Apologies for lack of sarcasm, her stare can wither you from 30 miles away and I’m a coward)

Seat 2 Bry: Cambridge’s shiny calling station

Seat 3 Dazza: Cheesey form horse. Non poker related this, it is down to the quantity of manure produced by both.

Seat 4 Jonty: Digit-ally challenged semi professional footballing giant.

Seat 5 Heid: When she is first into a pot with a raise, Canadian Geese know its time to head south for winter.

Seat 6 John A: Much improved player, merely simmers on semi tilt rather than blowing a gasket every five minutes.

Seat 7 Your correspondent: displaying that hint of arrogance associated with the talentless everywhere.

Seat 8: Nigel: Shhhhhh. Never was the Sound of silence more deafening.

Seat 9. Sheriff: Marriage has calmed him down. Now he is passive and crap, rather than aggressive and crap.

Seat 10 Buzz. Has a big nose. Produces unsightly bogeys. His nose is big too.

Onto the action. After 43 minutes we saw our first flop. Or at least it felt like it. Dazza raced into an early lead, and was the most aggressive player at the table. Bry soon became the shortstack, betting twice in one pot into Heid’s Aces and then running into your correspondent’s tripped monster (now you know Bry).

We see several key hands. Take this one. Heid raises UTG (cue sound of Geese overhead) and Ali flat calls in mid position and Dazza comes along for the ride too. The flop comes 10 3 2 and Heid checks, Ali bets 1000 and Dazza raises to 3000. Heid flat calls! Ali, holding QQ goes into the tank. She passes, in what turns out to be a wonderful pass (will this do Ali?). When Heid bets out on the turn (anyone tagged those Geese yet?) Dazza gives up, and Heid is subtly and almost imperceptibly badgered into disclosing she had trip tens. Nice hand sir.

This hand was a corker too. John raises in early position and Dazza flat calls on the button. On a flop of 2 3 J with two diamonds John check raises Dazza to 3000 from Dazza’s initial 700. Dazza pushes and John has a tricky one, holding QQ. He eventually makes a disciplined pass. Soon thereafter John bets out twice on a 7478 board and has an easy pass when Dazza, rather inexplicably, raises on the turn. Why inexplicable? Well, raising with Quad 7s before the river when someone is betting into you might be called “inexplicable”.

In the same level Ali plays her quad eights beautifully (will this do Ali?) and waits until the river (yes Dazza, Got that?) to raise Buzz who has to call with his full house.

After 3 hours 58 minutes we decide to put a bounty on Sheriff’s head, the coconut and Chocolate textures contrasting rather confusingly with the goatee and the cap. Soon after Bry doubled up with KK versus Heid’s AQ and still no one had fallen.

The introduction of running antes, a four coloured deck and the increase in the blinds began to increase the pace of the game. Short stacks with 10-15x big blinds began to feel pressured by the increased cost per round engendered by the antes and once players began to fall there began a domino effect. Sadly I never got that green and blue flop I was looking for.

First to depart was the gentle giant Jonty, pushing his short stack with A8 suited and unfortunately running into Sheriff’s Big Blind A9 suited. Still, it left him time to rehearse for his role in pantomime this Christmas as the Beanstalk at the Cheltenham Empire.

Next Sheriff suffered a turn card from hell. Calling a raise from Heidi (some people never learn) with A10 the two of them saw a flop of KQ10 which was checked. The turn came another 10, Heid bets out and Sheriff pushes. Heid looks sheepish and calls with AJ (Nice hand sir) to eliminate last year’s winner. There then followed a key hand on which the fate of the tournament changed. John raises on the button and I, your correspondent, re-raised in the small blind with AK off. John thinks for a nano-second and pushes the lot in. Hmmm. If I call and lose I am left with 5000 (12x bb), uncomfortable but playable. If I win, John is out. Not a decision for too much thought this, play to win the thing and call and pray he hasn’t got AA/KK and settle for him having QQ. So I call, and John flips 66 (I think we are both happy at this point!). I must congratulate John. Whatever happened from then on in the hand, he made a ballsy and aggressive play pre flop (I should be a politician). Anyway I hit and John re-hits to double up and gain a substantial chip lead he was never to relinquish.

I then left in 8th, pushing with filth rather than be blinded away further and running into my nemesis with AK suited in the BB. The unlucky, unfortunate and but still talented (will this do Ali?) Ali then lost her race, AK versus Buzz’s QQ to leave in 7th and join the post-mortems and recriminations two floors below being conducted by your correspondent, displaying all the maturity of a four year old being sent to the naughty chair by super-nanny.

There then followed a familiar pattern, heavy footsteps on the stairs and ashen faced figures entering the naughty room to tell their tales of woe. 6th was Buzz crippled by running AJ suited into Dazza’s AK and then running deuces into Nigel’s nines. 5th was Bry who had recovered well but then suffered a moment of madness. Raising in EP with KQ John, playing his big stack well, re-raises for all of Bry’s chips. Bry calls and again must have been happy to see he was up against 66. Sadly however Bry failed to hit and departed on the bubble.

The final four. A form horse, a Silent Assassin, a friend of Geese and a big chip leader no longer on semi tilt. The silent one soon gets unlucky, finding AK as the shortest stack and being called by Dazza’s AJ which hits a flush. Well played though Nigel, gallant effort. Just keep the noise down next time. No one likes hollering when you scoop.

Three handed Dazza found himself in a coup with unavoidable consequences. On a seven high flop with two diamonds he had Ad7d and it gets all in versus Heid’s pair of eights. Not much either player could do on the flop, TPTK and Nut flush draw versus overpair. Dazza missed (there is a God) and found himself crippled. When he then pushed with Q8 and was automatically called by Goosey Goosey with Q9 it was rather unnecessary for Heid to hit a flop of J 10…..K. Dazza was out in 3rd.

Heads up was brief. Heid appeared to have a dry run of cards that probably influenced her decision (but maybe not) to push with KQ when raised by John with AhJh. John emphatically turned the nut flush to triumph and be crowned WSOC Champion 2006.

Congratulations to both the final two, who played excellent poker all day. John, a worthy winner, looked a likely champion for several hours before he finally succeeded.

Finally, on behalf of all the players, our thanks to Ali for organising the game, cooking and providing an enjoyable day for all. (Will this do Ali?)

Copyright © 2001 CheeseyPoker.co.uk