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28.01.06
Thanks
to Heidi for writing up this months report,
I am sure you will enjoy it as much as I did.............
After a pleasant no nausea inducing pendolino trip from London, I jumped into a cab
at grid town station, and was met with a blank look when I told him where I was going.
A quick map session appeared to solve the problem, and then I was long hauled to Ali's
place.
Lots of newbies soon turned up! I wonder if I can now call new people newbies? Well,
stuff it, I have.
First to arrive (last to leave - I do take the piss sometimes), I started on the coffees,
and was warned not to make tea. Apparently I am crap at it - apologies to anyone whose
sensibilities I have damaged by mauling the old leaves in boiling water.
Lots of newbies this month. Biker Bill and his amazing bottom. Colin, who frankly
looked a bit scared, but did very well. Stuart and his friends Liam and Bryan. David
made a very welcome return.
First game started with two tables of 5, and Dazza on his first plate of food. Players
started dropping faster than a microwave heating a fulsome and nutritious cheese pasty.
I can’t remember too many details of the first game, but suffice to say that 3 more
pasties hit the digestive tract of the incredible eating man by the time we were down
to the money. I was out relatively early, as I was on coffee and tea making duties
(apparently the tea has got much better- take note!). Biker Bill was displaying none
of his unusual talents during the first game, so we were all blissfully unaware of
the outstanding olfactory extravaganza that was to follow.
Money makers in the first game, were The Smoking Stomach in first, The Sheriff in
Second, and new boy Colin, who handled himself with great aplomb. I am sure that the
HU between Stomach and Sheriff was riveting and tension filled.
Second game started quite soon after. Dazza filled up, we got some more players (making
the money down to 4).
Sitting in the lounge (or the salon privee, as I like to call it), Biker Bill’s unusual
talents started to manifest themselves (Ali – I told you about cucumber in the salad).
Soon the familiar chip riffling sound was accompanied by the large blustering outbursts
from the lower digestive regions of Mr. Bill’s nether regions. I don’t think it was
a tell. Although it may have helped his game to loosen up somewhat.
Is a fart a moody?
The game was fairly quiet in the first hour, but I know I made some blinding plays
and was happily stacked by the time the double chance stacks were handed out. Before
we knew it, there was a final table!
It was an oppressive air. The table was full, in my excitement at final tabling again
(hey, it’s been a while), I forgot to note who went where with what. I know that I
went to a horrendous beat from The Buzzmeister, and busted out fourth – in the money
though – my first cash at Cheesey!
So it was down to 3…there was much parrying and thrusting and posturing going on,
and then a very controversial hand occurred between the final 3 which brought the
game to an abrupt conclusion. I won’t go into details, as I don’t want to spoil the
details, but I am sure Buzz has included it in his Memoirs: “Great Hands of my Life”.
Final standings for the second game were as follows…
1st Rick Hill
2nd John A
3rd Bill Davies
4th Heidi Foster (woohoo!)
Did you want info on hands and stuff? Sheesh I don’t do that, sorry. Colour (and odour)
only. There are far finer proponents of hand Analysis and commentary than I around
(if only they would deign to turn up every once in a while).
Anyway….Some of Stu’s friends turned up, Bryan and Liam, and we all sat down to have
some Chinese – less hot than usual – but probably for the good given the state of
Bill’s arse.
At the start of the third and final game, two tables of willing, and slightly bloated
players sat down.
Well it was all plain sailing, Liam, Stu and Bryan were capable and aggressive players,
Bill kept firing off his secret (but deadly) weapons. The cats were scared.
All seemed to be going swimmingly. I had a whopper of a chip stack from somewhere,
then it went and I was heading towards the final table low on stack.. 8 of us, plus
Bill’s bottom on the final table.
We took a cig break before the final, where my mobile phone magiced into play and
the sounds of a veritable Jedi Master filled my ears.
“Aggressive you must be”
“Limp you must not”
So I didn’t.
Trebled up, and then again, and it was all looking rather healthy.
A word about the Silent Assassin before we continue – Nigel – I have to say, there
will be less of me nicking your blinds! Who am I to tell someone their game has improved
really? But I saw a big difference this month, great stuff!
Right, the game progressed, the Chinese worked it’s magic, and Bill enamored us with
his rendering of Fossilman whilst singing songs from Mary Poppins – what a table image.
Soon we had whittled the field down to 4. Bryan had a massive chip lead, and we decided
a saver for fourth was the way forward. Dazza was the proud recipient of that.
We were down to three. I can’t remember how the Silent Assassin went out, but then
there was 2.
Bryan did have a very big chip lead – I’d say about 90% of chips in play. Not very
people know that I am quite aggressive Heads Up – I don’t get to show them very often.
The Cheesey Hand (blessed be) went down very well, and the Bri Wilson Hand (shalom)
went down even better. Bryan commented that he wasn’t going to play me HU again.
1st Heidi Foster
2nd Bryan Williams
3rd Nigel Phillip
4th Dazza
A good day at Cheesey 
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