In previous episodes
we met TC, a typical table coach who has an ability to make a mess of even the simplest
of concepts. We also met Dave, a genie, who is bound to teach TC until TC reaches
the final table of a live tournament for real money. We then met Brandon, who runs
an enormous gambling syndicate, and his friend, a mysterious character with the sad
name of Bad Jon, who have paid TC not to release Dave. TC has informed Dave of this
and the two of them have tried to infiltrate Brandon's operation. They have just solved
a series of simple game theory problems (in rooms with cameras in both the tops of
the walls and the floor) to open a series of doors and have entered the fourth room
to discover Patch, the local barman who lost his eye on the '04 Red Sox, sitting behind
a desk...
"Hello, TC and TC's genie," said Patch. "I've been expecting you."
"Two bottles of beer please," ordered TC.
"It's the barman. Unimaginative as ever," noted Dave, "and you
can call me Dave."
TC looked puzzled. He looked at Patch, and then at Dave, and then
back at Patch again. "Something isn't quite right here," he observed.
Patch grinned. "Are you going to explain, or shall I?" he asked
Dave.
TC pointed at Dave and then at Patch while simultaneously wagging
his finger. "This has something to do with pirates, doesn't it?" he asked.
"I'll have a go," offered Dave. "Patch here can see perfectly
out of both eyes, but he has an interest in stories about pirates and treasure and
suchlike. At some point two or three years ago, he opened a book and released 'Bad
Jon' who was tailored to his dull simplistic image of an evil pirate character. Jon
has convinced Patch not to meet whatever requirements are required to send him back,
and instead they have embarked on a stereotypical world domination type scheme. Only
Patch can see Bad Jon, and of course, he can see me too. Brandon is obviously the
gambling brains in the outfit. However, he can't see Jon. so he had to send you to
meet Jon to be sure that the being Patch saw stealing beers from people during your
first WSOP satellite was summoned by you and not by one of the other people in the
room. Of course, that you could interact with Jon when he handed you the money was
the final proof they needed that you did indeed have a genie helping you. Your play
in Vegas was probably some kind of clue as well."
Patch applauded. "Very good," he nodded.
This seemed to be the cue for Bad Jon and Brandon to enter the
room from the door behind Patch.
Dave, as usual, was the first to speak. "So I assume you've managed
to get me where you want me. What is the next move?"
Bad Jon replied from underneath his huge beard, "It's three against
one and...."
"Two," interjected TC.
"It's three against one," repeated Jon, "and I'll force you to
fight me if I have to."
Dave was not impressed in the slightest. "You know full well that
it's two against two. One of your 'three' can't see me, and your idiot is not much
brighter than my idiot, so it's still a fair contest. We should just settle this the
normal way - with a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors!"
TC was confused. "You have already shown that a game like that
has a strategy that cannot be exploited! How can such a game be a skillful way to
decide anything?" he asked.
Dave was surprised by the accuracy of the question. "It is only
unexploitable if you have a perfect random number generator. We would not be allowed
access to any randomizing devices, and we both know the ways in which the other could
attempt to falsely randomize. Genies, like humans, cannot generate entirely random
numbers, and so will have weaknesses that can be discovered by the other."
"Why does Rock, Paper, Scissors always feature so strongly in
these discussions?" asked a baffled TC.
"Because it is at the heart of all games of bluff, including poker."
"In that case, how do I beat the idiots so often?" asked TC.
Dave raised an eyebrow, but resisted the urge to be spiteful.
He might need TC on his side by the end of the day. "Bad players at poker don't use
math to work out their plays. So if it were an RPS game, we could say that is the
equivalent of bad players only ever playing Scissors. Players who use the math learn
to play certain hands at the right times, and we call this Rock and we know that Rock
beats Scissors. The next level of players know that the Rocks don't change strategy
often, and they use this information to their advantage. They go to a form of controlled
aggression that we can liken to playing Paper. Some of these players become like yourself,
lose to the really bad players, and blame the opponents rather than their own failure
to adjust to the situation and player at hand. This is where the phrase 'I would rather
play against better players' comes from, as the Paper players can often struggle against
the Scissors players."
"But I would rather play against the better players,"
chirped TC, before digesting what Dave had said.
He thought for a moment and then corrected himself. "Oh, how obvious.
Of course, I knew that. Tell me something I don't know. How do I beat all three kinds
of player?"
Dave continued his analogy (or was it a metaphor?); he was still
not sure. "The players that understand all three types of opponent are the only ones
that are really playing poker. These are the players that observe what is going on
and use the right play at the right time to dismantle their more simplistic opponents."
TC nodded, "So why can't we formulate an unexploitable strategy?"
he asked. He was rather proud of the new phrase he had learned.
"A valid question," replied a surprised Dave. "In some situations,
especially very late in tournaments with rapidly escalating blinds, then we can. However,
in general we do not have enough information to do this, and, again, the players who
observe their games the best will be able to best compile an effective strategy. Once
you understand the math, the game boils down to being that simple."
"I need an example of how something can look complicated and yet
be simple," sighed TC. He was uncomfortable taking lessons in front of a hostile audience
who already seemed to think he was an idiot.
Dave obliged. "An easy example is when you can see how one opponent
is outplaying a simple opponent, and you can get involved in a three-way pot against
the two of them. The player who is outplaying the other can often become predictable,
and you may be able to use this to get him out of a pot. Then you can take on his
role in the hand, as he is not paying enough attention to you whilst becoming predictable
himself. In this example you outplay one and then the other, using two different strategies.
"In the long run you will win by accurately observing what your
opponents are doing and simultaneously making it difficult for them to observe you.
If they know exactly what you will do, then they can formulate a
long-term unexploitable strategy, and you will not beat them. When you play against
people with one-dimensional strategies, you will beat them simply by using the right
tools."
Bad Jon chose this moment to cut in. "We'll play a mixture of
games. We'll even let the two idiots play some for us. The loser has to go back home."
TC didn't like this idea much. "Dave, what can he actually do
to you if you don't go along with this?" he asked.
Dave nodded his head sadly. "He can put me in a position where
I have to actually physically fight him. Although I would have a good chance of winning
such a fight, the energy that would be released might tear a hole in the space-time
fabric that would suck in the entire planet and shred it into tiny fragments."
TC liked this idea less. It sounded dangerous and unoriginal.
Brandon outlined the format for the games. He was feeling a little
awkward as he couldn't see or hear half of the other people in the room. "The two
genies will play Rock Paper Scissors best of seven, as will the two humans. One point
each will be awarded to the winners."
Patch grinned. "I always play Rock," he explained to TC.
This sounded familiar to TC, but he wasn't sure where from.
Brandon continued. "We will then play a five-player single table
limit holdem cash game, and the player with the most money after two hours will win
one point. We will use the correct blind structure, of course." He nodded to where
he believed Dave stood.
"What's the correct blind structure?" asked TC.
Brandon explained that the player to the left of the button would
blind two units, and the player to his left would blind one unit. The person to the
left of that would be the first to act preflop.
"That's a stupid idea," noted TC. "Common sense says the blinds
should be the other way around."
Nobody else commented.
"We will then have a heads up match with the genies playing the
opposing humans in the semi-final and then the winners playing off where the winner
will get two points.
Whichever genie has the fewest points after all of this goes home.
If it is a tie, then the human with the most points can select a genie to go home.
Because the humans will still be here, and because we want our money back, Patch and
TC will be playing for $2002. I'm only playing one event, so I won't be gambling.
"Of course, you could just fight, but Dave is probably too good
natured to do that," grinned Brandon.
"I thought you said genies were evil," scowled TC.
"Only some of them," smiled Brandon.
"Are there any questions?" asked Brandon.
"Yes. One more thing I still don't understand," frowned TC. "Why,
if you're all so clever, do you need cameras in the floor"
"That's easy," replied Brandon. "It's the only way we can see
into your soles."
Series one to be concluded...