In previous episodes we met TC, who is a typical table coach. In a strange turn of events TC has ended up with a grumpy Genie (known as Dave to his friends) as his tutor. The Genie and TC can only break their unwanted teacher/student relationship when TC reaches the final table of a live tournament for real money. This may take some time as TC is proving to be the master of mis-applying any new concepts that The Genie can throw his way. TC does have moments where he realizes that he's not a great player, but they don't usually last very long.

The Genie began another new day with the hope that today would be the day that TC made a final. In fact, in recent times, just hoping that TC made it to a tournament at all was quite optimistic.

TC, however, had gone missing.

The Genie was more irritated by this than usual. He had specifically asked TC to learn something about poker from the internet last night, and clearly TC had not followed his instructions.

However the irritation soon gave way to a feeling of incredulity when he discovered TC perched on the roof of his shed making strange hooting noises.

"What..." began a baffled Genie,"...are you doing?"

"Hoot! I'm doing what you told me to do. Toowit-toowoo! I learned that I should be an owl," hooted TC.

The Genie blinked rapidly as he struggled to breathe. "I have no idea what you have been reading, but I'm absolutely sure that the owl was a metaphor. It didn't actually mean you should act like an owl. Come down from the shed and re-enter reality," he requested.

TC was saddened by this, but scrambled down to the ground, impressively failing to break any bones, and went back to the house to make his morning cup of coffee.

"So. What is a metaphor anyway?" asked TC while pulling up a chair and placing his coffee on the table in such a way that nothing important was ever going to happen to it. "I always thought meta-fore was the cry for the sort of wayward golf shot like a normal 'fore', except hit by a famous pro golfer into the gallery. Instead of meaning, 'Get out of the way,' it actually means, 'Please let the ball hit you, so it can bounce back onto the fairway.'"

"Metaphor is something that means one thing, but is used to mean something else," explained The Genie in a deliberately vague manner, while simultaneously ignoring TC's blathering.

TC looked confused.

"Look!" exclaimed The Genie. "Let's do a poker example."

Dave produced four different colored pens and a piece of paper. He placed the paper on the table and gave the pens to TC.

"Draw a line from the left to the right across the middle of this piece of paper," he requested.

TC drew the line in black ink.

"That's great. Now, we're going to say that the left hand side of the paper is the start of a poker tournament, and the right hand side is the end. The line is the strategy that a player enters the tournament with. It represents his stack along the way."

TC looked more than a little confused.

"Draw the same line again, but in a different color," requested Dave.

TC began to draw the line in green, but Dave nudged the table slightly and messed it up, so TC stopped.

"How can I draw if you're going to do that?" he bleated.

"How can you win a poker tournament if you give up when something goes wrong?" retorted Dave. "Use another pen and try again."

TC took a blue pen and looked determined. He started drawing the line and Dave wobbled the table. TC, however, kept his composure and ended up drawing a series of wiggles that looked something like a sine wave.

"Very good," said The Genie.

"Thanks," replied TC, admiring his work.

"That is how pro poker players play. They have a pre-planned strategy, and usually they will stick to it by reacting to the situation. You've heard of changing gears, well, this is what it means. Of course, if they get too far either above or below the line, then they will change strategy entirely, but in general they are attempting to follow a set course, which means the result of any individual pot has less impact than you would think — as long as the pots are small and the original strategy is valid. This is how, under the right kind of structure, players can afford to deviate a long way from normal strategies as long as it isn't going to move their stack size far from the line"

"This has a big impact on things like blind stealing and blind defense early on, when the pots and bets are often small enough that the long term table image can be more important than the immediate value of the chips. Whatever the outcome of the pot, the great players just naturally change course very slightly to get back on track. Most don't even know they are doing it."

TC didn't understand any of this. "I understand," he said.

"Now do it again," requested Dave.

TC picked up the red pen and began to draw. This time Dave rocked the table violently, spilling coffee all over the table, the paper, and TC, and also resulting in TC drawing a sharp zig zag red line that went all over the paper, down the front of TC's shirt, and ended up with a big dot where the pen lodged in TC's leg.

"Ouch! What are you doing?" screamed TC.

"That...," Dave paused for dramatic effect. "...is how you play — like a violently shaken table. It's a metaphor. In fact, it might be an analogy or a simile, but it doesn't really matter because nobody over the age of twelve ever remembers the difference anyway."

After The Genie had finished playing with TC, they drove to the first of the tournaments on The Genie's list. On the way he explained that one of his favorite strategies when playing off a low bankroll was to maintain a stack of no less than half the average chips.

"What's so magical about half the average?" asked TC.

"Half the average is the point at which you can still double up and be average," replied The Genie. "There are many valid tournament strategies, but this one will enable you to reach a lot of finals and get in the money a lot of the time. It's a good one on a smallish bankroll."

"Why don't I aim to be average?" asked TC.

"Average stack size in a tournament is very hard to maintain. As soon as one person is eliminated, you are below average if you haven't played a pot," explained Dave. "Some strong tournament players will play to maintain a line across the page a long way above yours, but unless you do it perfectly, that line soon becomes the zig zag as you get large swings that end in failure too often to be profitable."

TC looked at his leg and winced. "I don't want big swings at the moment," he confessed.

"That's the point," explained Dave. "You base your strategy on what is right for you at the time. Right now, we just need you to reach a final, so we don't have an exciting strategy."

TC agreed.

Finally they arrived at their destination.

"I'm going for a beer," said Dave. "When I come back, I expect you'll have done something stupid, and we can go home and discuss it."

TC entered the tournament.

A few hours later Dave returned.

"How did you do?" he asked TC.

"I won!" smiled TC.

Dave hadn't been so happy for as long as he could remember. In fact, he didn't really remember ever being happy at all. "In that case, I'm off home. I'd just like to say that you are the biggest idiot it has ever been my misfortune to have to teach. I hope you go bust."

"Oh," he continued. "Talking of going bust. Now you have some money, there's a down and out ex-lawyer in Fresno who spent his last $1 on a losing lottery ticket. You got his numbers. I had to change some on his ticket to level things out. I guess you should find him and pay him back to keep the numbers equal."

Dave raised his arms to the sky and looked upwards. He closed his eyes and muttered some words in a strange language.

Nothing happened.

Nothing happened again.

And again.

Finally Dave gave up. "Something's wrong," he sighed.

"It's okay," grinned TC stupidly. "I didn't really win."

"WHAT!?" screamed The Genie.

"It was a metaphor. I didn't actually win, but I learned something today, and I wanted to use it. That alone was like winning."

"Oh, do shut up," sighed Dave.

"I take it you don't want to know how I went out just then?" asked TC.

"Maybe later," replied Dave.

To be continued...