TC Part 5

TC The Table Coach - Part V

TC Wins The Lottery

By "Lorinda"

In previous episodes, we learned that TC thinks he is the best poker player in the world (despite actually being awful). In a strange turn of fate TC has ended up with a grumpy Genie (known as Dave to his friends) as his tutor. The Genie and TC can only break their unwanted teacher/student relationship when TC reaches the final table of a live tournament for real money. This may take some time as TC is proving to be the master of mis-applying any new concepts that The Genie can throw his way.

To make things even more complicated, a strange young player from out of town named Brandon appears to be trying to find out more about TC and The Genie (who is visible only to TC) for reasons known only to himself. If any of that makes sense, this is the right column for you.

TC awoke at the more usual time of 1 pm in the comfort of his own bed. It had been a long trip to Las Vegas , and he was looking forward to a rest. He went to make himself breakfast and discovered The Genie writing out a list of poker tournaments.

There were at least twenty of them on the list, spanning around two months.

"I've worked out a schedule for you to play live tournaments," smiled The Genie and handed the list to TC.

"Err," stammered TC, "Er, there might be a problem with one or two of these."

"It's okay. I've got the transport arranged," grinned The Genie. He was clearly proud of his morning's work.

"Actually," began TC, "Actually, it's unlikely to be okay. I'm down to my unemployment check, and any money that I have online," he explained.

"How much do you think you have online?" asked The Genie. "I'm sure we could cash it out."

"Well... the smallest of these tournaments is $50 rebuys," said TC. "I don't think I have $50 at all."

Dave slumped back into his chair and sighed deeply. "Why? Why does nobody clever ever open my books? The chances are ridiculous. Clever people read. Idiots don't read. Why do I always get these people?"

TC smiled stupidly. "Variance," he grinned. "You see, I did learn something," he concluded, as if this would make things better.

"Well, sitting around here won't help us, I guess," grumbled Dave. "Let's see what the online roll is?"

TC went to his computer, deactivated ANGIE (his chatbot girlfriend), and went through his accounts. "We have 13 dollars and 47 cents," he explained. "It could be worse."

Dave had always hated people who said "It could be worse." Over the many years that he had existed, he had found that although it was usually true that things could be worse, it was also usually statistically very unlikely that they would be worse. It annoyed him even more because the phrase was actually correct and yet so blatantly stupid all at the same time. He sat next to TC and decided that it was time for some more lessons.

"You're going to play some $1 sit and go tournaments, and I suggest you try to win. You know I can't help you during the game, and I know you can't listen to any advice without messing it up, so have you got any questions?" grumbled Dave.

"I'm sure I will have after this," chirped TC, and began to play.

"Why are you so happy?" asked Dave. "You're normally a miserable table coach."

"I haven't played a hand yet today," noted TC. "They can't upset me until they've beaten me, and there is no point coaching you, because you're as good as I am," he explained.

"Just one more thing," asked Dave. "How come you are bust? Didn't you just become a pro?"

"We just spent a while in Vegas," pointed out TC.

"But you were being bankrolled by someone else," argued Dave.

"I thought it was only fair to put some of my own money to it," explained TC.

Dave slowly shook his head from side to side and blinked rapidly. He went to grab a beer while TC played. On this occasion he couldn't bear to watch.

When Dave came back to check up on TC a couple of hours later, TC was bust.

"I lost 13 games in a row," complained TC. "Variance," he noted.

"Did it ever occur to you that although bad variance is one possible reason for this tragic streak of not winning anything at all, it is far more likely that you are actually just a really bad player?" asked Dave.

"Not really," replied TC.

"Right!" snorted The Genie. "I'm going to call up one hand history at random from your 13 knockouts, and I'm willing to stake my reputation that you played the hand badly."

"Don't you have something worth a little more?" muttered TC.

Dave ignored the snipe and asked TC to find a hand where he got knocked out.

"The blinds were 100/200, and I had 1800 chips under the gun. The other players had 275 chips (button), 3100 chips (small blind), and 4825 chips (big blind). I was dealt ace-nine offsuit and went all in," explained TC. "The big blind called with his ace-jack and beat me."

"Just to check. This was a $1 event?" asked The Genie.

"$1," confirmed TC.

"I'm assuming your opponents were not very good."

"Awful," TC confirmed again.

"Then you shouldn't go all in in this situation," explained The Genie who decided to go on the assumption that TC could tell how good his opponents were.

TC looked genuinely puzzled. This was one piece of strategy he was sure he had sorted out.

"The trouble is," continued Dave, "that if I explain this to you, you'll just use it at the wrong time, and It'll actually make your play worse."

TC promised that he wouldn't.

"Okay. Make sure you understand all of the reasons why this works then, and don't just do it at random. Your hand is too strong to fold here because it is almost certainly better than the short stack, and you are desperate for him to get eliminated so you can get at least third place."

TC nodded. "That's why I..."

"However, because he has position on you, if you raise he can just fold and hope that you get eliminated before him. You are up against very unsophisticated opponents here, and that's the key. They will tend to just play their cards rather than worrying about what you have."

TC nodded.

"So, in this instance, you can mini-raise to 400 which forces the short stack to fold. If a big stack wants to fight you, then you can just fold. There is also a chance you'll take down the blinds. Better players will re-raise you more often here, and the play becomes less useful, although it is often worth considering anyway."

TC stared into space for a while. "So it's a little bit like action bluffing?" he asked.

"A tiny bit, but not really. The only similarity is that you give up some chips to make sure that certain things happen. This play occurs way more often than action bluffing, though. I should never have taught you that. I was just showing off," sighed Dave.

"So what am I giving up chips for here?" asked TC.

"You are giving up chips to make sure that the small stack wastes one of his three hands. The better your opponents, the more chips you are actually giving up, so you have to weight it accordingly. The important thing here is that you have a good enough hand that you really can't afford for the short stack to play the hand without you being in the pot. After he folds, he has even less time to find a hand and is more likely to be eliminated before you. If he calls, you have every chance of beating him.

"Note also that the second biggest stack has quite a lot more chips than you, so losing ground on him is not a major consideration at this time."

TC nodded.

"However, that does not solve our current problem of you having a 47 cent bankroll. I'm going to have to do something here that is highly irregular. Write down these numbers: 4, 17, 21, 29, 33, 38. Can you find $1 somewhere for a lottery ticket?"

TC never moved so fast in all of his life. He scrambled around the house going through old jars and looking under sofas, chairs and anything else that might contain money. He eventually managed to find $1 in loose change.

"Go and buy a ticket with those numbers. We've got to get you a bankroll somehow," smirked The Genie.

"But... the rules? Er..." mumbled TC. The last few minutes had been rather a lot to take in, and he was struggling with this new concept of being rich and clever all at once.

"I'll find a way to put it down to expenses," explained Dave.

TC got home from buying his ticket and flicked on the TV. He lay down on the sofa and put his hands behind his head dreaming of what the future might bring.

The Genie looked restless.

"I shouldn't have done this. I'm not quite sure I can explain it," he sighed. "Also, that Brandon guy worries me."

"I meant to ask you about him. He seems to have an idea that you exist," said TC.

"There are people around who are not what they seem. They want to get rid of the Genies forever. Thankfully we are rather hard to kill," explained Dave.

"Why would they want to do that?" asked TC, genuinely concerned for his mentor.

"Genies teach good poker to uneducated losers. They would rather we didn't do it."

"But why would they be so spiteful? What is their motive?" asked TC.

"The same motive that a woman would have for marrying a very rich gay man," explained Dave.

TC cocked his head to one side while he worked this out. Eventually he nodded again. A sure sign he didn't really understand.

"Four," said the TV, interrupting the conversation and causing TC to sit bolt upright.

"Seventeen."

"Twenty-one."

"Twenty-nine."

The sweat could now be seen (and probably smelled) coming from TC. He had never been this close to being rich in his entire life.

"Thirty-four."

"WHAT?!" screamed TC. "I wrote one down wrong?"

"Thirty-nine."

"And another," he sobbed.

"There you go," smiled The Genie.

"FOUR lousy numbers?" protested TC.

"That's around $400," explained The Genie. "More than enough. You are so ungrateful sometimes."

"Just do me a favor," asked TC. "Next time you help me out, give me the last four numbers."

"Oh yeah. I had never thought of that," smiled Dave. "Now let's finally get some tournaments played."

To Be Continued....

Lorinda