TC Part 2

TC The Table Coach - Part II

By "Lorinda"

Last week TC lost $1,200 playing the mysterious half no limit hold 'em. He got incredibly unlucky (he said so himself, and who am I to argue with him) and swore to get his revenge.

Angie, his girlfriend said it was okay for him to try to win a WSOP main event seat.

Patch and the regulars in the local bar agreed to have the game, and TC is now only two games away from being the world champion of poker. The proof of his ability that has eluded him for so many months already....

TC was restless.

The game was tomorrow. Twenty players putting up $500 each for a shot at a seat in the World Series of Poker main event.

The thought that just one bad beat could end his assault on the title worried TC, it worried him a lot. He had tried everything, he had chatted to Angie, lost $100 at some low limit games online (which worried him even more, his luck was clearly not good right now) and even gone to that stupid forum, although he couldn't actually bring himself to read it. No. What TC needed right now, more than anything, was luck.

Then the idea hit him, the one that would probably win him the World Series of Poker main event. He would go to the library and research luck.

Online would be no use, he needed books. He had heard that all the best information came from books.

On his way to the library, TC made a point of bumping into as many people as he could so that when they told him to watch out he could respond with "Don't you know who I am? I'm TC. I'm just two games away from being the next world poker champion."

This made TC feel great. He was finally getting the recognition he deserved (although nobody actually remembered who he was of course.)

TC entered the library and tried to find a book on luck.

The librarian had already informed him that there were none available, but he knew her type, she was lying in a deliberate attempt to stop him from claiming his glory.

After several hours of stubborn unwillingness to concede defeat, and hunting through nearly every part of the library, he discovered a book covered with a thick film of dust that had fallen behind the back of the History section.

After cleaning it up, it turned out to be called "Poker Tournament Strategies".

How could a book be this big? Even TC didn't know this much about poker.

Given that he had now searched almost the entire library, and he didn't really fancy the math section, he figured he should have a look inside. Nobody was watching, it couldn't hurt. He carefully opened the book.

What happened next changed TC's life forever.

What can only be described as a man, suddenly emerged from the book and stood next to TC.

The figure, who bore more than a little resemblance to a 50-year-old man, thinning on top but with a healthy 'tash and beard, sighed deeply.

"I.." began the man. He clearly hated this. ".. I.. am the Genie of the books and am here to serve your poker needs!"

"You won't believe the bad luck I've had recently!" began TC, delighted to have someone around who understood.

The Genie looked TC up and down and rolled his eyes. "You think YOUR luck is bad?" he sighed.

The gravity of the situation slowly began to dawn on TC. "Why do _I_ need a poker genie?" he asked.

The Genie sighed again. "Why me?"

"Yes genie, that's what I'm asking too, or did you not understand?"

The Genie then embarked on the sadly cliche -- but strangely necessary -- rules speech.

"It's the rules of genies. You opened that book, which incidentally nobody has done in years, and now we are bound together until we fulfill the conditions that allow me back into the book."

"I don't want a genie." Grumbled TC.

"Look, do you really think I would still be here if I had a choice? We're stuck now and if you help me, we can get rid of each other faster." Explained the Genie

"What do we have to do?"

"Well, this book is a beginner's guide to tournament poker. To get rid of me, all you have to do is to reach the final table of a tournament for real money."

"Do satellites count?" asked TC hopefully.

"No"

"But you can help me cheat?" he tried.

"I cannot cheat when money is at stake. It's against the rules."

"The rules are stupid" noted TC

"Yes" agreed the Genie, who had noted this many times in the last few thousand years.

"Well, it seems easy enough, I should be able to get rid of you pretty quickly" reassured TC.

"You think?"

"Yes, I'm the best poker player in the world, I'm bound to reach some finals" he reminded.

"Just one"

"One?"

"Yes one. It's the criteria of the book. It proves that you've understood the book and as it is for beginners, one final is a big enough sample to be fine" explained the Genie, who was now coming to terms with who he was dealing with.

"Just be glad you didn't open The Theory of Poker" he concluded.

TC talked to the Genie all of the way home, mainly about his bad beats and his forthcoming triumphs.

"It's just that I'm running so bad." he explained again. "Surely I'll regress to the mean soon."

"WHAT?!" screamed the Genie.

"I'll regress to the mean soon." repeated TC, "I thought you were a strategical genius. It means I'm due a win!" he shouted.

A woman and her young child hurriedly crossed the road at this point to avoid TC.

"They can't see me" noted the Genie. "Anyway, you are not due any more than normal"

"Of course I am." shouted TC again. Quickly he stopped himself and started to whisper. "I should win $100 an hour, but I've been losing $100 an hour. Do you know nothing?"

"Regressing to the mean doesn't just happen. In fact, it's a helluva lot of hard work. I'm here to help with that." pointed out the Genie.

TC was still suspicious. "If you're such a genius, why poker?" he asked, as he entered his house.

"I was head of all strategy books once. I was in 'Advanced military planning for world domination' but it didn't work out" reminisced the Genie.

"Why?"

"It was in French." he sighed.

TC pulled up a table and grabbed a deck of cards. "I need proof that you can help me. Beat me"

They played for ten minutes and the Genie won, then they repeated, and the Genie won again. After a while TC stopped playing.

"You're cheating!" he whined.

"Actually, you're right" replied the Genie.

"You said you couldn't cheat" screamed TC. "I'll never believe you now!"

"I said I couldn't cheat if money was at stake. Your ability to spot cheating is awful, and your attention to detail is obviously non-existent, so now we have established you have flaws, could you please just listen to me and I'll try to help. Nobody will ever know you got help."

TC finally agreed to be taught.

"Anyway" continued the Genie "We have one night, and a lot of hard work to get through."We'll begin with bluffing. Do you know when it's correct to bluff?" he asked.

"Er....."

"Here are three famous examples." continued the Genie. "'I did not have sexual relations with that woman', 'I believe it is peace in our time,' and 'I am not being backed by the casino.' Do you see what they have in common?"

"Er...."

"They are all obvious bluffs." explained the Genie. "But nobody has a hand that they can call with, so the bluff works anyway."

"I see!" shrieked TC and he actually did see. TC had learned his first ever poker lesson with one night to go before his world series sat. (Or World Series of Poker main event satellite as TC would pedantically make me say)

Later that night in the bar, after TC had gone to bed, a strange figure sat on his own listening to conversations. It appeared that nobody could see him.

"That TC is such a fish." explained Pete to Frank, "If he bets the minimum, you can always raise him out of the pot."

.... and so the night went on, and the figure kept sitting, and listening.......

To Be Continued....

Lorinda