TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T PLAY POKER PROFESSIONALLY

By "Lorinda"

If you can handle the following 24 hours, you should try it.......

5.00pm Wake up

5.05pm Landlady asks for £100 rent which you should have paid yesterday, instinctively you tell her you'll pay by the end of the day (She knows this means by about 5am)

5.15pm Recall happenings of previous night, oh yes, that gutshot that sent you reeling.

5.30pm Check purse/wallet/pockets/change jar, bankroll is £7.53

5.45pm Look under bed, behind wardrobe, under carpet, and all the places you have ever hidden £20 for a rainy day. Bankroll increases to £8.02

6.00pm Make phone calls, SkintJimmy owes you £20 from last year and LuckyBob owes you a favour.

6.15pm Go to visit Jimmy and Bob, Jimmy just lost your £20 on the horses while you were on the way to pick it up, Bob is "A bit short at the moment" but lets you have £20. Bankroll is now £28.03

7.00pm Visit casino, consider betting on roulette (If you do, give up now)

7.05pm Look around the poker room for anyone who owes you money or a favour.

7.30pm BigBadBrian is winning a fortune, looks like your only out is to ask him to help out, but he hates being disturbed in the game.

8.00pm Check slots for coins that people have forgotten to pick up.

11.00pm Brian finishes, says he can let you have £50, but owing to his expensive dental cover he requires you to pay him £75 back this time next week, reluctantly you agree. Bankroll is £78.03

11.15pm Find a small game which gives you hope.

11.30pm Owing to a spectacular run of cards, you now are down to £35.03

11.45pm Consider asking waitresses and dealers for your tips back, afterall, they do very well out of you.

11.46pm Approach waitress

11.47pm Chicken out, order a coffee, tip her £1. Bankroll £34.03

12.15am Jimmy calls you up, he has your £20...WHY did you play the game, you'd be nearly at £100 now Bankroll £54.03

12.30am Back in the game.

1.00am Finaly win a pot or two, win £30. Bankroll £84.03

1.30am Leave game, thinking of sensible ways to earn £15.97

2.00am Have great idea.

2.20am Give landlady £80, after all, it's nearly £100.

2.40am Try to think of other ways to get "back in the game"

3.00am bed

12.00 Noon wake up, £115 in debt, landlady asks for £20, oh and one of Brian's teeth fell out, he needs that money NOW.

12.10pm Check change jar, for some reason it's empty.

12.30pm Remember, to your disgust, that Freddy has a home game that needs a dealer.

1.00pm Go to deal home game.

5.00pm Earned £70, pay landlady £20 you owed, give Brian the £50 you borrowed.. he can wait for the £25 interest, poor old Bob don't need that £20 yet.

Bankroll £4.03...not sure where you are getting very fast.

Lorinda

(THIS ARTICLE PRINTED HERE WITH THE PERMISSION OF LORINDA)